I bought my oldest sister a calendar for Christmas

The amount I have to say about my sisters never seems to decrease, does it?

This time I am talking about my oldest sister. My second oldest sister's gotten a lot of thought from me over the past few years and it's only recently that I've given my other sister the same amount and intensity of thought as my second oldest sister.

This is simply because because us two, there is less material to write about. She's never been as involved, had that much of a presence in my life.

In my younger years, she chose to spend more time with my second oldest sister. Not that much time the family, let alone me. Now that I am her age, I understand why she did that-add in some of the factors affecting her personality and the sort of home environment we (she?) grew up in, and I can draw out a complete picture explaining everything.

So I've never harbored the same type of hatred towards her as I did/do my second oldest. How can you hate someone's who's just never done anything to or with you? There's nothing to dislike.

Finally around to the title of this party-for Christmas I bought my sister a calender. It has twelve pictures of adorable puppies in it and my brother and I thought she would've loved it as she is an animal lover and basically has all responsibility for our family dog.

The other day I found it discarded in the small area where she sleeps when she does come back to visit the family, alongside bunched up wrapping paper and the little candy cane my brother bought her.

Hoping she had just forgotten it, I asked her if she was going to use it-if not, I would use it. She replied 'Oh soz. You can use if you want.'

It really upset me... I don't know. I suppose it was just the idea-I bought her something which I thought she'd like and use, and she just... dumped it there.

I suppose it's my yearning for a closer relationship with her-I've been getting closer to my second oldest sister and I was hoping this would've been something of a minor breakthrough. At least we could've talked about it for five minutes. She could've talked to me about different dog breeds. Stuck it in her rooms. Anything.

I'm a little sad.