I find that I haven't fully developed my own voice or style when it comes to slam. I don't want to simply recite my poem. I want to perform it. Both ends of the spectrum differ greatly from the other. However there is a fine line separating reciting poetry and performing it. I struggle to find it.
The first poem I did was about my sister. It was one big apostrophe as I talked about in an earlier post (link here)
With that poem I did loud, anguished, indignant. Now I'm trying to write a poem on the influence my mother's occasionally erratic and frustrating behaviour on my development and attitude.
I could take the path I took with my old poem-loud, indignant, angry. The idea behind of the poem is similar-the actions of another family member and it's effects on my development throughout the years. It wouldn't (performance-wise) be difficult.
You see, I am a very out there with my emotions and thoughts. Talking about either of them isn't hard. Bringing out strong passionate emotions on either end of the scale and threading those emotions into my words is not difficult. I do it all the time.
However I want to challenge myself. I'm going to try taking a step away from a loud and out there approach. I'm going to try for a subtler take. What emotions will be threaded into my words and how that'll be done-I'm going to try soulful and reflective. I also have to be careful not to victimise myself-that's the easy thing to do. I'm going to try showing firmness and control in my performance; not hurt and victimised.
How it'll be done? That's where it gets hard. So far it's been nothing but difficult actually- I find I cannot bring myself to be calm, firm, reflective and soulful-lest not all at once-without turning the performance into a recital, because I soon start losing the 'subtle underlying, yet still incredibly important' emotions. It's personally difficult to maintain. Subtly with my emotions has never been my thing.
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